A decision made....

After some careful consideration.....What the hell! Who am I kidding I am as compulsive as they come!!!!! Once I make my mind up I don't want to wait but thins time I am going to do things a bit different.
I sat down and wrote out all my reasons for staying where I am, then I wrote a list of why I should leave. I tried not to let my emotions get in the way. I am thinking about the kids and what is best for them long term....
I also sat down with the girls and tested the winds and asked in a round about way what they thought before I told them what I was thinking

And the results were...........WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!!!!
Well that is if Matthews father will let me.....He has seen him once in the last 5 months but he is a bit of a "poor little me....." Kind of person and he might kick up a stink.....I will deal with that later...

So now I know that I am going I feel relieved, I am going to miss My big sister like crazy who has by the way her own blog!!!!!!!! UpsAndDowns Check it out and give her lots of support. I am going to help her tweak it a bit but she is such an amazing woman.

So once I made the decision, I sat down and figured out some finances and what to take ect...I have a quote from one removalist ....$2800 for 20 cubic meters....I will see if I can find anything cheaper. I don't want to do what I did when I moved from WA to VIC.....I sold everything and came with only a dryer and 2 pallets of boxes.

I will need about $6000.....This includes removalist, trip over (I think I am mad, I plan on driving over with the 3 kids) bond and rent for the new house and $1000 for the bits and pieces that pop up...

I have also discovered that I will need to sell my fridge. It is a very large fridge and I had to take off the doors and door frames to get it in my house....It wont fit through the door frames over there as they are metal so the fridge will have to go....

So that is the plan.......The big move will prob take place July/Aug this year....
This also means that I will have to be at goal by then so I can throw away all my big clothes....

So anyway.......

I didn't want to use my blog as a unhappy outlet, I wanted to put up my achievements and happy things but I have found that as a rule when my life is smooth and everything is hunky dory I don't have time to get on and blog. It is however that when I am feeling down and low that I feel the need to express myself and write things down...

I have taken a break from weight watchers for a month now and I really feel it, I lost my mojo. I popped on the scales this morning and I have put on a few kilos. I now weigh 75.6kg....not good. But as of 1st Jan I am back on....

So anyway, I am having problems getting to sleep. This is not like me. I know I am getting itchy feet and deep down I feel the need to move. I really do admire the people who can stay in one place longer than a year. I have moved 29 times in 32 years.
My mind is racing at night and I really want to get out of this house. Rentals in this town are non existent and there is a waiting list. I am considering moving to the town the girls new school is in as I have worked out that I will be driving to and from for the next 12 years!!!!

But this is not the only consideration. Victoria is not my home state. I am from W.A and that is where most of my family and friends from school are. I miss it but.....
The girls are happy here, They like the school next year, they have friends here and Talia has her Karate here. If I moved it would be for total selfish reasons. I miss the familirarity of Perth, but I swore I would never move the kids interstate again plus we would be looking at thousands of $$ in removal costs (which I don't have) and would I be any happier than I am here?????



THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER!!!!

I am so lost at the moment. Do you ever feel like that???
I don't know where I am going and I am one of those people who like to plan, it makes me feel secure (well that doesn't make sense with the moving bit???)
I really need to sit down and put a few goals down and get some structure, maybe that would help....

Thanks for listen to me dribble....I feel better

Go figure !!!!!

First of all I would like to say a big thank you to all of you who have made me feel better with your comments.
I am feeling heaps better today and I popped on the scales this morning and it showed 73.2 kg....So I haven't put on any weight at all...Must of been just fluid...
So things have been brighter since my last post.

the girls have their orientation day tomorrow at their new school so it is an early night for all

Time is a ticking

It is so easy to get back into bad habits. My weight has creeped up to 75kg my clothes still fit but it is amazing how much an extra 1.2 kg can make you feel. Now wonder I was feeling so rotten when I was carrying the extra 8.
Christmas is coming fast and this year I am sooooo not ready for it. I have no idea what to buy the kids. I try and limit what I spend on each child to about $50 all up, that includes what they give each other as I want them to enjoy the giving much more than the getting IYKWIM. But I am not sure if the finances will even stretch that far this year.
I hate being a single mum sometimes. Why should the kids miss out while Ex-husband drives around in a Club Sport.....I am anti men at the moment.
A girlfriend of mine is going through a nasty divorce, her delightful husband decided after her miscarriage that he didn't want to do this anymore....It has bought all the bad memories of my divorce back and it has been 5 years....
I wonder will it ever end....Do you ever forget about it

I am going to try and get on here a bit more. I miss writing down my thoughts and my achievement which have been few and far between lately.

Who the hell was I kidding?????

I have put on some weight.....I still fit into my clothes. In fact I have pulled out all my size 12's from hiding and most of them fit, a few are a bit tight around the tummy but hey....Its the first time in 3 years.
Back to the weight gain.
After the getaway I was lulled into a false sense of security and I have found it really difficult to get back in to the swing of things. I popped on the scales Monday morning and 74.2kg was staring back at me ...Almost 1 kg gain. I have tried a number of times to start tracking but I am weak and end up eating something bad thinking to my self that I will start again tomorrow- seriously this time.....YEAH RIGHT!!!!!
I need help...
any suggestions on how to get motivated again would be greatly appreciated

Well that's enough whining from me...Thinking of you all

Ok, things weren't as bad as they seemed

So I got on the scales this morning and to my utter surprise I weighed 73.8kg....which I am over the moon at. So as of today I am back tracking.
I remember a while back one of you lovely ladies commented in your blogs about plateaus and how that once you get to a certain weight you stop, it is not your goal weight but because you feel so much better and your clothes feel good. That you sub consciously stop thinking weight loss mode. Well I have been there for the last few weeks. I am down to a size 14 and could easily stop but I would love to get to goal so I need to reassess a few things and get my not so big butt into gear.

I wont be blogging as much either, my eldest daughter has commented about the time I spend on the puter and has asked to kindly cut back and spend some more time with her (point taken) so just to let you know that I do read your blogs but may not have the time to comment but my thoughts are with you.

Hello everyone

Wow I cant believe that it has been almost 3 weeks since I last posted. I have been feeling quiet blah for a while but I have just spent a lovely 4 days in the Dandenong ranges at a scrapbooking getaway. The group of women who I go away with are an amazing bunch. I always come away with my soul refreshed and this time 2 kg heavier.
Before the getaway I was eating crap and while I was there I ate and ate and ate...chocolate, coke and basically anything I could get my teeth into....

But lots of people noticed my weight loss and it was a great feeling..
so I have to get my head back into weight loss mode, I'm not quiet ready for it yet but I am going to do it.

So this is just a quick catch up t say that I am here and I hope everyone else is well

Me at 73.6kg

I had a neighbour take these this afternoon as I have hit half way
I have only got 10 kg to go to goal so I thought half way photos would be a good motivator.
I lost another 100gms this week, not a big loss but every bit counts
Eloise had her orientation morning today for prep next year and she loved it so much that she didn't want to come home...Roll on next year.
I stayed with her so that I could get a feel for the teacher and how the kids interact with her. Well all looks good and I will be happy to leave her next time.

Hope everyone is having a great day

You guys rock!

When I first discovered blogging on the WW site I started reading them for inspiration. It is so much easier doing this when you know that there are other everyday people out there that are facing the same hurdles as me. Never in my wildest dreams that I thought by having my own blog I would have the support that I have found here in blog world. I really believe that I would have given up if it wasn't for the little comments and support you guys give me.

I would love to say a huge thankyou.

I sat at my computer this morning feeling really good about my self and wrote out my questions to the little list that inspired me from Slim Suzy. It is mainly weight loss but I am considering doing a general one and scrapping it...

So here it is

Getting Started Journaling (from Discovery Health. Com)
Complete the following phrases:

I am eager to ... get to my goal weight and stay there

I doubt myself when ....I have a bad day of eating, I beat myself up and thinI'mIm not strong enough to do this

I feel powerful when... I have another loss on the scales and I think "yes I CAN do this"

I'm proud of myself because ... I am doing this and I have lost 9.3kg so far

My 10 favourite things are...my kids, sunny days, good music, roast lamb, good movies, good friends, my electric blanket on a cold night, a good book, dark chocolate and a good coffee

I am most grateful for... My friends and family that are supporting me through this

I can simplify my life by living without .. being so hard on my self

I feel my mission in life is to... Haven't figured that one out yet! But I think to raise my 3 kids to be responsible happy adults

In my wildest dreams, I ... would love to find a nice person to grow old with

I believe in myself because ... I am strong and I am stubborn.


Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling. - Margaret B. Runbeck

I'm back

I was a bit lost there on the weight loss front for a while but I'm back.
I was reading someone's blog (I cant remember who's) and they were saying about not using kids illness or "I will start fresh nest Monday" as a excuse to not watch what you eat, or something like that because life will get in the way and what we are doing is a life change not just a diet.
So I have snapped out of my little slump of binge eating and not counting.

I'm back....Oh and reading the new WW mag also helped with the inspiration

I was also inspired by Slim Suzy ( how do you make the link here???) and her little list of questions and answers...I might go think on it a bit and answer tomorrow

Hope everyone is having a great night

Oh and thanks to everyone with regards to the bus thing....I am taking it all the way to the top!
The bus driver was at fault with his lack of duty of care and I never want another child to go through what Talia had to...Next time the out come might not be so happy

A huge scare

My dd Talia (7) was supposed to take the bus home this afternoon from school, it drops her off on the street next to ours and it is a 2 min walk home...at 3.35 I saw the bus go past and I waited for Talia to walk down the road....I waited...

I waited 15 min and sent Eloise up to the bus stop on her bike to see if Talia was there talking to a friend....but she wasn't there!

At 4 pm she still wasnt home, I wasn't going to panic but I woke Matthew up and put him in the car....I then drove to the bus stop and went across the road to one of Talia's friends house thinking she may be playing there....I was ready to give her a serve for not telling me where she was. Her friend which was also on the bus said that she was sitting next to her but Talia didn't get off the bus.....
Ok I am not going to panic but what do i do now...the bus does a loop of the town then heads back to school.

So I drove to the school and went and saw the principal explained what had happened and that Talia was on the bus but didn't get off at her stop.

They tried to ring the bus driver but no answer...by this stage I was feeling quiet ill. They then rang some of the families further on the bus route...no one remembered seeing Talia...

Then the bus driver rang back saying that he saw her crossing the bridge on the other side of town...when I heard this i was almost sick...that is a few Kms away from our house and she was walking alone.

So I headed off to the bridge then home to see if i could see her walking and the principal would drive around looking for her via the bus route and would meet me back home.

When I got home she was there......I have never been so relived in all my life

She missed her stop and then at the end of the route the bus driver told her to get out....even though he knew her stop was way back at the begining...so the poor little kid had to walk 2-3km home...crying and scared that she would get lost...

The principal eventually turned up and I explained what had happened and she said she will be following this up

So i am not happy but relieved that my girl is OK.....I don't even want to think what might have happened
I cant believe the bus driver would leave a 7 year old girl on the side of a busy road to walk all the way home on the other side of town

I decided last week to change schools and this has confirmed that I made the right decision

83 kg

Week 17

I have been feeling pretty BLAH for a week now, at first I thought it was because of all the crap food I have been bingeing on....But it still didn't stop me from eating more crap...I even stopped counting points but alas it was gastro....Talia now has it and I had to go get her from school after she threw up in front of the whole class.

I was expecting a huge gain on the scales this week due to my food indiscretions....But to my utter surprise I had a loss of 0.9 kg...so I am now a happy 73.7 kg
I am so close to half way and 10 kg that I can taste it....

I was reading "M" s post this morning and everything she said I came away thinking "yeah!" I totally agree. By the way "M " you look fantastic!!!!

I don't have a photo of me when I first started but here is the one I used for my profile shot...It was taken in June this year and even though I am wearing dark colours you can still tell how large I was...
I am going to have to get more photos taken of me...Not be so camera shy

A Big Decision

My eldest dd Talia is in year 2. She started at the local primary school this year as we moved. I was extremely happy with her old school and she was happy there but it is 50km away.
I haven't been happy with the school here, it has been little things like not knowing how she has been going, what level of reading she is up to (I asked but was told that they don't do that here as it causes the kids to be competitive) The school reports are basic and are not as detailed as her old school. Everytime I ask how she is going I am told that academically she is fine. I am happy with the teacher it is the school as a whole...I'm not sure if it is because there are so many students that it lacks the personal touch or what.

Am I being to picky???

The teacher has been great with a few incidences of Bullying - they put a stop to it straight away, unfortunately we live next door to one of the bullies...So all in all Talia has been a bit miserable. I know she wants to go back to her old school.

On the other hand the local school is just that- local and later when she reachers High School it will be the school she will be going to .

So I have been in two minds about what to do...

I went and saw the principle of a small Catholic school that I have been told about. I am not religious but my first concern is my children education. Eloise starts Prep next year so I really needed to get my butt in to gear and sort out schools.

This school is in a small county town 20km away which means 80km round trip every day instead of standing on the door step waving as the kids ride their bikes to school.
It is a very small school with a total of 52 students from prep to year 6 but has an excellent reputation both academic and social.

As soon as I walked in I was welcomed and the Principal personally showed me around (I have spoken to the local principal once and I was never shown around the school when I enrolled Talia at the beginning of this year)

The reports are detailed and you know exactly how your child is doing and what they are meant to be achieving .

so to end a long story I enrolled both girls today...They are both pleased

I just hope I have made the right decision

I haven't meant to leave it so long between posts but life has gotten In the way and before I knew it a week has past.

Friday - My sister, niece and I took the kids to TheWerribeee Zoo. I woke up feeling very average and drove the 70kms to meet Jen and Miss at McDonalds. I was feeling so crook that I didn't even splurge.

Miss was a bit nervous as she has only just got off her P plates and it was the first time to drive alone in Melb traffic.We live about 1.5 hours away in central Vic so she had plenty of time to get sweaty palms. She did a great job.

The zoo was great and the kids had a ball. They especially liked the bus tour. I think their favorites were the Rhinos.

We left the zoo at about 3 and headed through Melb traffic to High Point ( a HUGE shopping centre) the first thing was to go to pancake parlour. I was good and only had one

We walked around the shops for a while, had a look at Toy R us and Pumpkin Patch, finally we grabbed Nandos for dinner and headed on home.

Finally got home at 11pm a very long day but soooo worth it
I wasnt to bad on my eating.

Tuesday- weigh in.....I was pretty bad with my eating over the weekend and I wasnt too confident getting on the scales (when am I????) and I am pleased to say that I had a 200gm loss.

Today - Eloise had her first swimming lesson, we got there late due to a tosser doing 70km on The Hwy so I wasnt able to tell instructor that this was her first ever lesson. There was no need as she had a ball and even put her face under the water. We went to Big w and bought her a pair of goggles for next week.
Once we got home I found one of my cats looking very under the weather, so I rang the vet and took him straight up....he has an abcess in one of his lymph nodes in his neck. So a jab of antibiotics and tablets for the next 6 days things looked much better

Well Im off to clean the house as I have an inspection first thing in the morning
Thankyou everyone for their comments, you guys are the best and make things managable

Week 15 weigh in

I admit I was a bit nervous getting on the scales this week due to the amount of garbage that has entered my body of the last few day and the pre TTOTM bloat however I was pleasantly surprised to see 74.8kg that's a loss of 1.2kg which is confusing since I usually put on a kilo Pre TTOTM. But I'm not going to argue .....Take it as a win!

It is also WW 10% goal as well....it took me 15 weeks though!

Only 11.8kg to go

I am feeling heaps better today...More energy and a lot happier.

I have previously crochet 3 blankets, one for each child however I have wanted to make myself one. I was never able to start off but last night I figured it out and have started my blanket, probably not a good idea as we are in spring as those things can get mighty heavy and hot sitting on your lap after a while but It keeps my hands busy at night. I didn't think of snacking after dinner....

Well that's all from me today :)

On the road to self destruction

Why is it we humans seem to sabotage ourselves when things are going good.

I finally hit 75.0kg YIPEE I have been eating right and drinking lots of water. So why is it as soon as I start loosing again I go and do a stupid thing like pig out at a BBQ.

There wasn't any healthy food to start with but I could of had just a sausage in bread....5 points

Instead I ended up having a sausage, bread, 2 hambugers, potato salad and 2 curried eggs.....I mean what the! I'm not even game to add up how many points in that lot.

Ok so I move on, new day....

all was good I had a light brekkie and soup for lunch...All good then I sit down and eat 5 little packets of chips....OH why did I do these stupid things...I have no self control

I need to re focus and stop making excuses of its almost TTOTM.....I will no longer let hormones rule my body. I AM IN CHARGE HERE - yeah right

Today is a brand new day of a new week....Moving forward

Pretzel Blow Out

I did a really silly thing yesterday and bought a bag of pretzel sticks thinking that I could trust myself enough to only eat a little at a time

HOW WRONG WAS I

50 grams is 2.5 points.....I sat there last night and ate the whole bag of 200 grams, that's a whopping 10 point binge!

I looked at the empty packet this morning and felt so guilty, like I betrayed myself.

So moving right along (I have punished myself enough) I had a really good day today. Talia stayed all day at a friends house and Eloise was invited to play at a Kinder friends. We stayed for a couple of hours before walking home.

We then went to visit my sister so that we could drop off the rooster before the neighbor's complain about the morning wake up call.

So all in all I have had a good day and after dinner I still have a 4.5 points which I might save after last nights effort.

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. - Jim Rohn

Hmmmmm Subway

Today I went with a girlfriend to town for some shopping.....
So of course while we were o the way home we dropped into subway...

I think I am addicted but by golly they are high in points when you add the extra yummies

I have a 6 inch toasted chicken fillet with bacon and Swiss cheese for a whopping 8.5 points but it is sooooo worth it.

I could eat that everyday but it has only left me 6.5 points for dinner and after dinner munchies..

Does any one else have the after dinner munchies? If so how have you dealt with it....

I could just eat and eat.....

Well that's all from me today :)

Week 14

I did write and post the other day but it seems to be floating in cyber space. It was nothing earth shattering or profound so your not missing much.

So I had weigh in this morn...And I am pleased that I lost the half kilo I put on last week but I am back to week 12 weight of 76kg.

I have been very good with my eating, tracking and water intake but not so good with the exercise. Except for today I had to get new tires on my car so it was the walk home and back to the tire place (about a 2km round trip) better than nothing.
I have been doing heaps of incidental exercise such as walking to the park with the kids and playing footy..
My 5yo stacked off her scooter on the way to the park...Poor possum, thankfully she was wearing her helmet or it could have been a lot worse.

Hope everyone is having a great week :)

A week in short.....

Talia had her school fair on Thursday which at first I thought I wouldn't be able to make it as my landlord was to come and asses the house for a new fence and if I am really lucky a pantry.

She was nice enough to come over early and I was able to pick up Eloise from Kinder and get to the fair. It was really good. I a bit disappointed that they had NO healthy food or water to drink but I managed to get through with only a sausage in bread....It could have been lots worse as there was lasagna and baked potatoes.

Even with the sausage I was still with-in points for the day and also did some weights that night.

Friday we were all off to the optometrist and that went well with none of us needing glasses....
Did the food shopping so there are now lots of yummy fruit and veg in the house again....
Coles were having a little Weight watchers plug so I picked up a few of those chocolate puddings (3 points) but to die for....They are divine.


All in all this week has been good, I have been within points all week...Tracking as well
I have been drinking at least 2L water daily and even exercised

Even if I don't have a loss this week I feel fantastic.

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do. - unknown

Week 13 Weigh In

Ok 7.30 this morning I was lying in bed dreading getting up as I knew the scales were waiting for me...
I heaved my body out of bed and on I get.....open the eyes, open the eyes.....

0.5kg GAIN!!!!!!!

Ok it could have been worse, I just need to take a big breath in and look forward.

hope everyone else is having a great day

A big shot is a little shot that kept shooting. - unknown

I've been SO naughty!

My niece had her 19th Birthday yesterday so the family went to a cafe in Echuca for afternoon tea, sounds innocent hey!
Well I was really good and ordered a skinny cappuccino then I realised that they have the BEST pancakes, so I had to!
OMG they were to die for. 2 of the largest pancakes I have seen covered in chocolate sauce and cream. I ate the LOT!!!!!!
I didn't have the cream though :)
I was so full for the rest of the day that all I had for dinner was some strawberries and grapes.
I have weigh in tomorrow morning, if I have a loss this week I will fall over!
Well we can all dream :)

Today was good, Matthews grandma came to visit from Perth and stayed for the afternoon and she and Matthew had a great time together.
Poor little man was so tired that he went to bed at 6pm.

1407 steps for the day

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life. - Burton Hills

A new look

A new look for my blog and thanks to those clever people who helped my add all the extra bits. A big thanks you to Slim Suzy for her help with the profile picture. I am going to have to find a better one!
I did a bit of research on the web on web designing and this helped me heap....I have a whole new appreciation of each and every web site I visit now :)

We had a rather large thunderstorm here last night, reminded me of the wet season up north....Gee I miss it (never move back though!)

and that reminded me of geckos, and I love geckos. They are the cutest things. I especially love the little green on on the Goodyear ad with Peter Brock....So cute! (the gecko -not peter!)

I'm in an odd mood today, the girls are outside playing and the boy is asleep...House is lovely and quiet so I'm making the most of it!

have a great day everyone :)


It is quite possible to work without results, but never will there be results without work. - unknown

A big decision

I went and saw the local gym today to see about membership. The good news is that they do monthly direct deposit. So its not so hard on the finances but it is 30km away ( oh the joys of living in the country) . So if I do join and to get the maximum benefit of going 2-3 times a week would it financially viable to drive 60km round trip to go to the gym...Especially with the fuel being the price it is, and no relief in sight.

Decisions, decisions???

Other than this, things have been good.

I have been drinking my 2L water each day and I admit that I feel so much better for it. Why haven't I been doing this all along?
I have also been tracking, so I am half way to completing my mini goals....Only another kilo to loose in September.

Thank you to everyone who helped with my blog, still haven't figured out how to add my photo to my profile....It doesn't really matter

have a great night....I am :)

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however. - Richard Bach

3 months gone

Well I have just had my 12 week weigh-in.....Wow 3 months gone already. I
was crossing my fingers to loose the kilo I put on last week due to TTOTM but guess what....I lost another on top of that....I lost 2kg so now I'm 76 kg.....YIPPPEEEEE

I feel fantastic, all that moaning last week has gone form my mind and I am back on track and focused...Amazing what a loss can do for you

I even did my measurement this morning to compare to when I started

Hips start 115 cm now 106 cm
Waist start 100cm now 89 cm
thighs start 67cm now 64.5 cm

total cm lost 22.5cm

I am a quarter of the way there....

What a great day!

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life. - Burton Hills

Its time to get Serious

OK tomorrow is my weigh in for week 12....
After a gain of a kilo last week I need to get back on track and start losing again.
I am going to focus on why I started this journey in the first place and what I need to do to complete it.

I haven't been tracking at all this week, so as of tomorrow that's a must.

I need to do more exercise - I hate it so much, I don't get any enjoyment out of it and this is probably why I have a lack of motivation...
I have a plan of next year when Eloise goes to school joining up at the gym and gone a couple of times a week, I am unable to do it now as it is 30km away and with picking up and dropping of Eloise at Kinder it leaves me no time. I also think if I out lay money it will give me more incentive to go. I need to find out if there is a creche for Matthew.

I need to start setting some realistic goals....
1. Sept loose 3kg this would bring me down to 75kg.
2. Drink at least 2 L water a day....At the moment its about 0-1L...
3. Exercise...hmmm walk Eloise home from Kinder on Mondays and Thursdays, weights on Tuesday and pilates on Wednedays....Its only 4 times a week but its better than nothing.

Well that's for starters...

And I am going to re-evaluate my goal weight.... WW had me down for 67kg, at the beginning I really wanted to get down to 60kg but after much consideration I think that this unrealistic and I have adjusted my goal weight to 63...Which would be a size 12.

So there you have it...it is down in writing now so no going back.

Don't ask for a light load, but rather ask for a strong back. - unknown

I am a romantic at heart

I cant help it...But I'm a sucker for romantic and feel good movies. I love happily ever after and I will actually come out of the closet and admit that I sometimes read the odd Mills & Boon....
I always thought when I was young and naive that there was someone out there for everyone, that one day that I would meet the man of my dreams and we would live happily ever after....

Well some one must have put the mocker on me!

After one failed marriage resulting in 2 beautiful girls and another failed relationship resulting in my gorgeous son. I have sworn off men!

So why am I so bloody lonely...
don't get me wrong, I love being single. I love it that I can do what I want, when I want. I don't have to justify my spending, actions or thoughts to anyone.

It is just sometimes like tonight I wonder what would it be like to have some one to come home to, some one to share the responsibility, heartache and satisfaction of raising 3 small children. Someone to love me.

Are there people out there that do have a so called perfect relationship...Is there a mister right out there or am I one of those people who are meant to be alone...

Even if there was someone out there for me, would they be willing to take on a woman with 3 small Children to 2 different father's...Come on my track record isn't too good.

Is there someone out there......

I will stop rambling and feeling sorry for my self. Instead I will go check my 3 angels that are sleeping soundly and count my lucky stars that they are safe.

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. Anon

Spring Has Sprung....

Spring has Sprung.....

don't you just love the first day of spring!...All those spring lambs bouncing in the paddock, the baby calves and foals....I live in the country and I love it.

We woke up to a frost this morning....So much for a fine spring day! I think its about 9 degrees outside.

But that's beside the point....I LOVE spring. I love the change you feel in the air. So much so that I have gone and made an appointment to get my hair cut this afternoon...Some thing different...

But just to change the subject: I was wondering if anybody out there could help me with my blog...I am such a puter dummy, I cant even figure out how to put a photo in my profile or edit my links...Believe me I have tried but...

So any help would be appreciated...

I would like to put things like my goals in the margin and my measurements...Photos and such...

Hope everyone is having a great day.....

To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it. But we must not drift or lie at anchor. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I have my car back

I finally got to pick up my car from the mechanics yesterday afternoon, with a hefty bill of $790...And that didn't include the service that was due....So I have to book it back in for that.

Oh and I need a new tire, the one on the car had the steel belt showing ( I nearly was sick when I found out knowing that it could have blown at any moment) but it was on the inside so wasn't able to see it....So I might as well replace 2 and put them on the front...

I have the spare on the back at the moment..I need to save up a bit first...

I hopped on the scales yesterday morning for my week 11 weigh in......OMG I put on a kilo.....
How is it that it takes me 2 weeks to loose a kilo but a few short days to put one on!
So all that bad binge eating last week did do something! BUGGER

I'm not going to change my ticker though....I'm hoping next week will be kind to me when I hop back on the scales.

Great changes may not happen right away, but with effort even the difficult may become easy. - Bill Blackman

This is me....I am 83 kgs here.....back in June 

I have been so bad!

Wow time has flown since I last posted on Thursday. Well we had our family meeting and a few issues came out and we have discussed and initiated plans of attack. Talia thought that this was a great idea (the family meeting) and wants one every week.

Well from Friday onwards my eating went to shit....I have been a very naughty girl!

Saturday night we went out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant to celebrate my nieces 21 and I ate and ate and ate...Even had mud cake and cheese cake for dessert...
Sunday wasn't much better but at least I am doing a little bit of exercise....I am digging up a huge garden bed ready for summer....

I still have not got my car back so am still walking Eloise to Kinder and home again...It maybe ready for tomorrow.

So after a terrible week of emotional ups and down and a really bad week of food I am ready to hop on the scales tomorrow morning.
I know I have put on a kilo or two and I have no one to blame but myself!

Week 11 will be a new start....Back on track

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.

OK everything will be alright!

After this last week or so of feeling really crappy, Im back to normal.
I even lost 0.5kg this week, so after 10 weeks I have lost a total of 6kg....I was at the begining hoping to loose a kilo a week, but realistically I know its not going to happen.
I am pretty happy with 6 kg...
Other than that the weather has been beautiful, all the spring flowers are comming out and I feel great.

I walked Eloise to Kinder and then home again..So all up I walked for an hour, I am hoping that it will help to shift that snickers bar I had in weakness yesterday.
The only thing wrong with my life at the moment is my 7 year old, who has a huge attitude at the moment. Im not sure what to do to fix it. I am hoping a family meeting tonight will help.
Hopefully we can sort out what is causing all the angst.
The two girls are fighting non stop at the moment. This is so unusual as they have always gotten along. I think a big problem is that they share a room and dont have any space to call their own...but other kids share a room. I know they are going to fight and bicker but its all gotten out of control. It is time to pull the reins in.
I have the inner strength to deal with this ....


"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

I cant be bothered

I am writing this feeling like absolute shit!
I cant be bothered doing this anymore....Why cant I just be happy fat...
It all started with me getting down the boxes of kids clothes that I put aside for each season, spring is just around the corner and there is no time like the present for sorting out clothes. I also found a box of clothes of mine when I was a size 12, 2.5 years ago!
They all look so tiny.
I am so over this healthy eating, exercise thing!

I feel like such a blimp I'm not sure If I feel like this because its almost TTOTM or what...

So far today I have eaten

Bowl nutri grain and 2 coffees 3 points
1 egg, cheese and beetroot sandwich 5 points
2 choc chip ww biscuits 1 point
small bag chicken in a biskit 2 points
I lt water

I have weigh in tomorrow morn and I cant see a loss...

I want to start feeling good again....I need motivation!

48 hours

Well all plans went out the window when my sister turned up to babysit with a cold. So I ended up driving to town while Jen stayed home with the kids. I arrived at court starving as I had no time for brekkie with the changed plans, thinking that I would be waiting all day.However after only waiting for 20 min the prosecuting officer came up saying that the defendant wants to plea and that I am free to go!

I was so relieved, I am not very good at public speaking so I was nearly in a flat panic....No need.

I rang jen and she was fine with the kids so I went and saw my mechanic to see how the car repairs are going....He is still waiting for a part and that all up it will approx cost between $600-$700. That's no too bad for a service, 2 steering columns and fixing the gearbox. Not sure when it will be ready though...

So once I left there I went and did a food shop ON MY OWN...No kids. It was so peaceful but not any cheaper!
By this time I still hadn't eaten and I was on my way home, I had to get fuel so I popped into the BP with a subway attached. I have never had subway before so it was quiet daunting standing there trying to decide what to have.....
I was a bit naughty and ended up having a 6 inch with chicken breast, bacon and Swiss cheese toasted....OMG it was to die for..
I think it is worth driving the extra 70km round trip to do my shopping just for subway.
So anyway got home just in time to pick up Talia from school and head over to Jenni's to scrapbook.
The evening didn't go as plan either. Melissa my niece came in saying that she thought she heard a lamb bleating and then proceeded to ransack the house looking for a torch.
We all went out (no torch) looking for the pet sheep to find which one had lambed.
There wasn't just one lamb but 2 - twins and unfortunately Thomas the ram hadn't allowed Rosie (the mum) near them and she had abandoned them.
so at 11.30pm we were out trying to get a rather large ram away from the ewes....Fun- NOT
We managed to get rosie and the twins into a calf pen away from Thomas but she wouldnt let the lambs near her. It is really heart breaking to hear them call and know that she didn't want anything to do with them. But that wasn't our only problem, they needed to drink. Poor Rosie is blind in one eye due to crows when she was a baby - we rescued her and now she is terrified of people and everything.
So it was 12.30am and my niece and I had Rosie up against the wall trying to get the lambs to feed but to no avail. We left Rosie in the pen away form Thomas and took the lambs inside they would have to be bottle fed.
We discovered that we had a boy (Barley) and a girl(Lily). We will keep Lily for breeding and eat Barley next year...
The next morning (Melissa was the one up every 2 hours feeding lambs) we had to go out and separate Thomas from Sheeba (our other ewe)....Well that was fun as I had to learn to ride a 4 wheel motorbike really quick, give me a horse anytime....
So now we have a pregnant ewe and Rosie in the house paddock and a very upset ram in the back paddock.
So by the them I got home yesterday afternoon I was exhausted and fell into bed last night.

Just another day

I am so sick of not having a car....Though it is making me walk Eloise to kinder 3 times a week....20 min each way, so I am walking approx 1 1/2 hours on those days....Those cold mornings are a killer though.

I am having to go and give evidence at court tomorrow so I'm not looking forward to that......And since the incident happened over 2 years ago the memory is a big vague....Don't know how much help I will be....

I am feeling a bit low at the moment......I wont bore you with the details tonight though!

Goodnight to all

Week 9 Weigh in

Wow its been 9 weeks already....I never thought I would ever get this far...I am always starting things and not finishing them....

I had a bath last night as a treat for getting my 5kg book mark and normally I take up the whole bath but last night I noticed that there are inches of room either side of me!

WOW this is the first thing that has really made me realize that the weight is coming off...What a great feeling...

I hopped on the scales this morning and another 0.5kg has gone....This is so additive....

I cant wait until it is all gone....

I got my bookmark!!!!!!

I received my 5kg bookmark off weight watchers today.....I cant believe how good it feels to get a tiny bit of cardboard :)

I have made a mini goals of

1. 10% Goal of 74.7kg
2. 5kg gone by my birthday
3. 10 more kilos before Christmas....

I have my week nine weigh in tomorrow but after a disastrous weekend it isn't looking good, but as long as I haven't gained I will be happy...

here's to tomorrow :)

5 down 18 to go

Yipeeeee

I hopped on the scales this morning and 78 was staring back at me....

that's a total of 5kg lost in 8 LONG weeks. It really hasn't really been that bad and I feel really good!
I thought at the begging of this journey I would be really good and loose all the weight and then I would no longer have to deprive my self of all the yummy foods that I wasn't allowed to eat.

I am feeling so good with all the good food going into my body that I hardly miss the bad....Well not as much as I thought I would....

I never want to go back to feeling, flat, yukky and tired....
bring on the energy !!

I am so motivated now.....I never thought I could do this .....But I can....

Only 18 to go.....

Just my luck

I was on my way to do the food shopping on Friday when I thought I had blown up my gearbox.....OH no
I had to call my sister who came and got the kids and I and took us food shopping....
My brother In law and I went down later and put it on a car trailer and took it to the mechanic...
The good news is that I haven't blown up the transmission but it does need a new part and I wont be with a car for about 2 weeks.....

So there will be lots of walking for me in the next 2 weeks so Eloise can go to Kinder.

Weigh in tomorrow so fingers crossed

Time Flies

Wow I cant believe how long it has been since I have written.
Matthew was sick for a long time. He ended up with both a chest and ear infection and was on antibiotics for 2 weeks...
Talia then came off her bike and split her lip....2 stitches later and a $50 after hours doctor bill she was patched up...

As for my weight...I have been really good with my eating...But a bit slack with the exercise...
So I haven't lost anything....But I haven't gained either so I guess that is good.

I couldn't do weigh in yesterday as my scales were on the blink....They are not that old so I was going to take them back today and they started working....

So weigh in tomorrow and hopefully (fingers crossed) there will be a loss

7 weeks and only 4 kg gone....I was hoping for a better result than this.

I will keep going though :)

What a Week

This last week has been tiring....Matthew has been soooo sick!
He got over his croup OK but ended up back at the doctors with a chest and ear infection.
I don't think I slept for about 4 days and then on Friday Eloise had her 5th Birthday....It was such a big week...
Tuesday was my week 4 weigh in and I didn't do very well...I put on a kilo but I haven't had time to exercise so I wasn't surprised!

Things are getting back to normal now I just have to get focused again as I have been feeling bit low:(

Croup

Poor Matthew has had a nasty cough for a few days which had slowly gotten worse, so off to the doctor today....

He has croup!

This is the first time one of my kids has had it....He is on prednisolone for 2 days to ease his airways....Its so horrible to listen to him cough!

We will be sleeping in the lounge tonight with the heater on....

He is so miserable.....

Birthday Binge

I have been soooo naughty

Matthew had his first birthday party last night. I knew there would be yummy things like party pies, sausage rolls and cake so I bought a low fat dip to go with the celery and carrot sticks that I cut up so that I would not be tempted ......

I was going good....And then I thought....Just one!

Well it didn't stop there, I had a party pie, 3 cocktail franks and a piece of cake :(

I could have been happy with that until the mini wagonwheels came out and I had one of those as well!!!!!!

I have NO self control.....

I don't really feel bad as I could have eaten more and I will be back on track very soon.

It felt really good that my sister actually said she could notice the weight coming off :)

Tonight I am going to do some weights and I will feel better

I'm SO Happy !!!!!

I reluctantly got on the scales this morning expecting to either be stable or put on some weight....Instead I lost

2.5 kg

Yippeeee

I can do this.......

I am determined not to go back over 80kgs again....

Friday night is going to be a challenge as we are celebrating Matthews 1st Birthday and there will be lots of yummy things to eat.

but I am going to cut up some carrot, capsicum and celery for me to munch on...

after a few days of feeling yukky this is just great

Moving time

I'm finding staying I on track at the moment very challenging, I am still feeling very low.
I was chatting online to a friend in Perth last night and I got so home sick....I miss Perth.
So this morning I made a decision to move the bedrooms around. I have been thinking about it for a while as the girls bunks annoy me and in my room even though its tiny I can separate the beds.
So I had to dismantle the bunks and move them out of the room, then dismantle my bed as it is solid wood and very heavy. Then set that up. Then I put the girls beds together and mad them all. I still have heaps to do....But I'm feeling better already.

I move my furniture if I am feeling off....It helps with my itchy feet

I am hoping that tomorrow morning I will wake up feeling better and I can get back on track...I haven't eaten anything bad but I haven't been eating regular or drinking enough water...

Tuesday is not looking to good for a loss :(

Feeling Flat

I have been feeling really flat and down today. I don't know why but I thought visiting my sister would help, and it did. I spent most of the time fixing up her computer.
I had 3 cups of ovaltine lite with real milk...yummmmm
I went via the IGA on the way home to get some milk and all I could smell was the cooked chickens....All I could think of was a hot chicken sandwich.....
I almost relented but I didn't....
It is 7.41 and I am ready for bed, Matthew is crying in his cot and both girls are awake....It has been one of those days!
I might wait until the kids are asleep and then go have a nice hot bath with a good book
Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow morning feeling a heap better

Wednesday Woes

Had a terrible night last night. Talia had nightmares and growing pains and Eloise had a dry raspy cough that kept waking her up which in turn she woke me up.
So this morning the last thing I felt like doing was sticking to an eating plan and exercise but I did.
This weight is not going to beat me.
I went to the chemist to buy some cough mixture so hopefully things will be quiet in my house tonight.
I might even do some weights tonight.
I am one day closer to my goal weight :)

Wohoo First One Down

I was nervous getting on the scales this morning. I knew if I hadn't lost any weight I would be disappointed and I know through this journey there will be some weeks that I wont loose any but today I wanted to start off on a high
So on I hop and YES Im down to 82.....
WOW what a feeling....I can do this only 22 to go

The kids and I did heaps of gardening today....I worked the rake really hard, even worked up a sweat...And made the shoulders burn.....But a good burn.

Well Im off to change my ticker.....

Manic Monday

Well those plans of mine of eating regulary today went out the window this morning when I heard Spotlight were having a sale!
I fed the kids, had a coffee and we were out the door!

I thought well while we were in town I might as well get Matthew his birthday present!

So no breakfast as such but I walked and walked and walked!

I ended up having a Apple Cinnamon muffin and a reduced fat cappacino from the muffin break, I am yet to work out the points, for lunch -come- snack.

But other than that I was REALLY good walking past the food hall, looking at the roast dinners and hot doughnuts....it was empowering to be able to just not give in to temptation.

I even bought my self some hand weights to help tone my arms and upper body....i have no excuse now.

So its a Ham, egg, cheese and salad wholemeal roll for dinner and a yoghurt

Weigh in tomorrow morning.....fingers crossed xxxxxxxx

Sunday Bloody Sunday

This morning started really good! The kids even let me lie in until 7.45am yipeeeee
The girls got out the craft bag and made some cards, things were nice and quiet so I thought I would do some Pilates - it was like a magnet....
I was surrounded by kids and not only mine, but also Talia's friend from across the road. Then Matthew decided to crawl over me, have you ever tried to concentrate on your breathing with a toddler patting your face and laughing because he find it funny that your on the floor!

I managed to finish the 1 hour session with all 4 kids in the room and then bam
the girls started to bicker - hold on school holidays don't start until tomorrow.

I was doing really good with my eating and then I thought I had to get out of the house- no lunch
packed up the kids and went to a girlfriends house and had 3 coffees with REAL milk....ohh it was good. So that was my lunch and afternoon snack. I suppose it could have been worse.

Back onto the scheduled eating Plan tomorrow.....
Breakfast
snack
lunch
snack
dinner
snack
and 8 glasses of water.......

I can do this!

So far so good, this is day 5 and I'm feeling good today. I even did a little exercise, my body is in shock!.
I have created a menu plan for the next few days to help me keep track of my points.
I also have to remember to eat regularly. I get so busy with the kids that by the time I get to eat breakfast its lunch time and the day tends to go down hill. Hopefully by doing this it will speed up my metabolism and I will actually see a loss on my first weigh in on Tuesday.