School Horrordays are here!!!!

Wow can you believe that 3rd term is over and the holdiays are here....Well we only have 10 more weeks till we fly...This means that the kids only have 8 weeks of school left.
Last school holidays we took the kids to Sovereign Hill and we missed out on the carriage rides, Eloise was devastated and I promised her to return the following holidays and the first thing we would do was a carriage ride...

The girls have been looking forward to these school holidays for this reason. Unfortunately I received a phone call from Talia's teacher last week. She has been telling lies again at school, this time it was about her homework. I told him that I would talk to her again, so I have been thinking of a way to teacher her how serious lying is and that it breaks peoples trust and that is one of the hardest things to get back..
We sat down again and had a big talk and because I wanted her to realize the seriousness of lying I told her that she has to stay home when we go to Sovereign hill.

It was one of the hardest things I have done in a while, driving down the road away from my daughter who is in her room sobbing because we left her behind, but I knew that if I gave in that would be worse...She ended up having a nice day with aunty jenni anyway..

So Melissa, Eloise, Matthew and myself went to sovereign Hill, we all went on the carriage ride and we also went to the underground mine tour that we missed out on last time...

We all had a great time and when we got home Talia came out and gave me a huge huge and said that she missed us and that she was sorry..

A big surprise

Well for the last few weeks I have been hitching up my size 14 stretch jeans and boy has it been annoying, then the final straw came the other day when I went to put them on and one of my buttons had come off.....Off to the shop I go in search of some new button fly jeans....NONE......Well none that are not hipsters....Hello I have hips, I know I have hips so I don't need to show the rest of the world my muffin tops....

So I came home in my old and broken faithfuls.....

Today I had to go back to town to take back a size 14 top that is way to big...I thought what the hell, Matthew and I have all day I might as well try on some jeans...Not buttonfly but for $20 I can complain...

SIZE 12 fit like a glove......I am one happy little camper!!!

The scales show me as a porker...72 kg (bit of a slump at the moment) but my clothes tell me that the weight is coming off. I know who I believe more!...Everyone knows that scales lie....

P.S.....Our Robbbie T-shirts came today...we have tickets and now shirts for the concert......yipee

A budding photographer.....

Ok just a quick post as Im off this morning to take Matthew to play group, I really dont like playgroups as a general rule but the only way he is going to learn social skills is to be around kids his own age and socialise....

Any way yesterday afternoon I gave Talia the digital camera and told her to take as many photos of me that she wanted... she was having a hoot and after about 25 shots this is what she came with....

The kids in August

Here are some photos of the kids this month

Gee has it been that long????

Well i had written a nice long post but blooger lost it..

so now all i am going to do is post some photos and I will fill in the blanks later

Hello again

weigh in this morning and I lost a total of 1.6kg, which is my biggest loss to date which brings my total loss to 11.8kg
the weather is beautiful and sunny today (almost feels like spring is in the air) which is good to get the washing done but we badly need rain!

Matthew and I are finally off to his hearing test tomorrow, after the last appointment was cancelled due to his cold.

Other than that things are quiet.....

Just for some fun

I did Miss's make up yesterday as she wanted a nice photo of herself so I thought I would do my self at the same time (plus all the kids had some on as well) I took some nice photos of her and she took some of me....the poor girl has no idea how to focus a automatic digital camera and nearly every single photo came out of focus, bless her heart.

But one did come out .....

So this is me at 32......

The kids at the doctor

Eloise had to go see our doctor yesterday just to make sure that her ear was responding to the antibiotics. Matthews chest was sounding yukky so I asked that Matthew could be seen as well (saves a 120km round trip) and he was seen too.

Eloise's ear was still infected so she is on 7 more days of antibiotics, if this still does not clear the infection the doctor was talking possible grommets......

Matthew has a chest infection so he is also on antibiotics for 7 days.....

There was a 20 min wait at the chemist so the kids and I walked around to the local lions park in Rochester to let them have a play, letting Matthew out of his pusher he walked over to the play equipment and stopped. Then I realized that this was his first time on play equipment.....I felt like such a bad mother....He is 2 and this was his first real taste of swings and slides and climbing.
He climbed up on his own and played with the driving wheel and then slid down the slide....He was having a hoot.

Even though we live 50km away from the nearest good park I am going to start taking him more often. Of course it depends on the weather and the price of fuel...
Things like this will be so much easier when we get to Perth....122 days till we fly

Its the flu season...

Another week has gone so quick,
Wed - came out to find that the puter had a hissy and I couldn't even get into safe mode...ahhhhh
Thursday - the computer tech came out and tried to fix the puter but alas no go and I had to reinstall XP so that meant that Jenni lost all her photos...Everything..The school nurse rang and I had to go pick up Eloise early as she had an ear ache
Friday I had Eloise at the doctor with an ear ache, this ending up being and infection/borderline abscess, antibiotics and a return trip next Wednesday
Sat - Miss and I went and did the food shopping without kids, both Eloise and Matthew were full of the flu
Sun -a quiet day at home

My week wrapped up, one good thing is that we have bought the plane tickets, it is now official, we are leaving at the end of Nov.....Its going to come around quick!

Matthew had his assessment

Yesterday was the day that Matthew had his assessment with the SIRT (specialist information referral team) and everything went well. It took about 1 and half hours but Matthew had fun playing some games and now it is a bit of a wait for the results .

How ever just observing and talking to the assessor, he is not that delayed. His fine motor skills and gross motor skills are average for his age. But he is only slightly delayed in his social and communication. He was able to recognize and name at least 2 body parts and name 3 familiar things on flash cards ( car, cat and bird) His words are not as clear as most 2 year olds but he definatly recognized the objects and the words that he used started with the correct letter.
He was also able to follow simple instructions
So this is good news, he will be going on the wait list for the speech pathologist and an education advisor to help with social skills. There has been a new speech therapist start there so hopefully the wait wont be to long.

I also bought a new DVD player as mine blew up.....This means this house has destroyed 3 DVD players in the last 12 months.

We have also made the decision, and I feel so mush better inside with it, that we are all flying to Perth and are putting the cars on a truck....It will cost about the same and instead of a 5 days trip it will only be a 4 hour plan trip. I think the kids will cope better with this and I wont have to worry about my car (which has been a bit temperamental this year) breaking down in the middle of the Nullabour.

Happy 6th Birthday Eloise

Eloise has been counting down until the 15th for ever and yesterday morning she was so excited. It was nice to have some happiness in the house as we found out that on Friday afternoon that Dave's father had died.

Eloise patiently waited all day for her birthday dinner and cake. We decided that the kids would have party food and us adults would have something kinder on the waist.

I made her cake in the afternoon and most of the family from interstate rang, Eloise was a bit disappointed that no presents had arrived for her yet .

Just before dinner she opened up her presents, She received the High school Musical CD and saddle Club sunglasses from Miss and the game Frogs in the Bog from Aunty Jenni and Uncle Dave. Then she received a Horse round up game from Gran and finally monopoly Junior from Talia, Matthew and I. She was pretty happy.

The kids had the usually yummy things for dinner and then came cake. I made a plain cake and put a My Little Pony cake topper on....

we sang happy birthday and Eloise was one happy 6 year old

Happy Birthday

A bit about me....

Now that I have caught up with all the happenings of the last 2 weeks I can catch my breath.
After my little hissy the other week things have settled down and basically gone back to the way things were, this time though Jenni is helping a bit more and I am making a huge effort not to be so obsessive and martyr- ish (is that a word? , well it is now). I am a huge list maker and I like to know what is happening. So I have been leaving everything and just going on my merry way...OMG it has been so hard. I finally had enough the other day and cleaned the puter table when everything fell on top of me.
Dinner times have been interesting as no one knows who is cooking and who is doing the dishes when, but I'm trying my hardest not to make a schedule as I was before. Don't get me wrong things are working out but it is still the case that Jen and I are doing all of the house work. Gee my strike didn't last but I am feeling a lot less stressed.

Other than that I feel good at the moment, all us girls are on WW until we leave to go to Perth and I am doing at least 45 min exercise every day...Alternate days of walking on the treadmill and low impact aerobics. This is making me feel better as well.

The only thing that is bothering me is the housing situation in Perth. There seems to be a huge shortage of rentals due to the 18 month wait for a house to be built (something about a brick shortage) so this has me a little worried. What if I cant get a house, what then....
I am going to start and apply for rentals as of the begining of Oct and if I have to pay double rent for a while I wont mind...But if I have been applying for 6 weeks or so I may just have to re think my plans....

Can you tell I'm a planner? . I like to know what is happening, going to happen and everything in between.

So all in all things are good....

Happy 2nd Birthday Matthew

I know this is a bit late but we have had computer troubles over the last 12 days. It has been in the shop being fixed. During this time I bought out my computer to use and hunted through my packed boxes to find my dial up modem so we could still talk to the world. I found the modem in the last box that I looked in but alas no software disk, I keep them all together for those reason but the only one that wasn't there was the one that I needed...So no modem...No internet.

A kind friend lent us one which came with no cable (I went out and bought a new one) installed the hardware but when I went to install; the software it was not compatible with XP, so that didn't work either, we were destined to be without internet......

Meanwhile the starter motor in my car died.......Surprise, surprise. Luckily my BIL managed to find a recon one and fitted it for me. I managed to come away only $156 out of pocket this time.

The SIRT ( specialist information referral team) finally rang back about getting Matthew assessed for his speech and we had an appointment for Monday the 10th but come Monday morning they rang up and cancelled and we have been rescheduled for this coming Monday, so fingers crossed.

This appointment is only to assess him, once they know where he is they will decide what skills he is delayed in and he will be put on the appropriate waiting list.

Back to Matthews birthday, which was Thursday 6th. I managed to make a cake for him on the spur off the moment and we sang happy birthday and Talia helped him open his presents. Matthew was a bit bewildered with it all.

the girls and I bought him the Play School Everybody sing DVD and a Baby Einstein DVD and a new book. Aunty Jenni bought him a new book and Miss bought him a tonka tow truck which he just loves...

So that has been our 2 weeks, Eloise's 6th birthday is on Sat and she is hanging out for it.

Photos from Sovereign Hill

As blogger wont let me add photos to my post I will have to add them in a new one...just hope this works

Guess what

WE GOT ROBBIE TICKETS!!!!!!!


30 th Nov in Perth........cant wait


I'm excited

A day at sovereign Hill

I had been using star charts with the girls as a reward, also to coerce Eloise to eat her dinner. At the end of the week if they had a certain amount of stars I would take them to Sovereign Hill in Ballarat. A reconstructed gold mining town from the 1850's. During the school holidays they were going to have snow making machines in the main street so it all depended on the weather being fine. Ballarat is know for being cold and wet.

Well Sunday morning came and the girls had earned their required stars and were very excited so I thought what the heck. Bundled the kids up warm and headed off for the 3 plus hour drive (also being a test run for the Nullabour) Half way there I realized that I had forgotten the pusher and there was no way I was going back! Miss and I would just have to carry Matthew.

We got there in 2 hours with the kids fighting the whole way. Then I realized that the whole place was built on the side of a hill and we were going to have to lug a 12kg toddler up and down those hills. There was quite a line up out the door and it was cold but sunny.

Thankfully for our arms there were hire pushers and the cost of our tickets included a return visit. The first thing Eloise saw were the horses pulling the carriages so I told her the last thing we would do is have a carriage ride. I knew otherwise she would be side tracked by horses if we went on one now and thought it would be a loverly finish to the day.

We had a terrific time. The girls got to dip candles, watch lolly making, we watched a $50 000 gold pour, went down a mine (we are saving the large mine tour for next time) visited all the old shops and we waited in the main street and 1pm for the snow.......Well technically it did look like snow however it was just fine bubbles (it was cold enough for real snow) but the kids loved it.

We went down to the little stream and panned for some gold. I managed to find a speck so I secretly put it in Eloise's pan so that she could find some but it got away...So much for luck.

I was getting close to home time so we walked up to where the carriage rides left only to find out that we had missed the last one of the day by 5 minutes....Well poor Eloises face, the poor kid was devastated and I was the worst mother on the face of the earth. The whole day she had been waiting patiently (well as much as a 5yo that is horse mad can) and I had let her down.

So I have promised and crossed my heart that next school holidays when we return that the fist thing we will do is go on a carriage ride.

We left and had McDonald's for dinner then drove home in silence as all 3 kids were asleep.

Just when I thought things could not get worse!

It has been a long time between posts but I have been a bit under the weather emotionally. This week started good I have had my car fixed, the timing chain has been replaced and it was running like a dream and then the starter motor started to play up.....Great I have just finished up paying for the last lot of repairs ($600....Cheap) So I am again I am without a car and I truly believe yet again I have bought a lemon. I am seriously thinking of putting it on a car carrier and flying over to Perth just in case it doesn't make it across the Nullabour. I will just have to wait and see.
So it is still at the start of the week.....Then the phone goes and according to Telstra it wont be back on until for a few days.....No biggie just a pain in the ass.
Tuesday the power started surging in and out and then we ran out of water. For those of you lucky people who live in civilization who turn on a tap and have a constant supply of water please count your lucky stars. We are on tank water....And it hasn't been raining.....So no washing, no showers .....Nothing but drinking water for 3 days. Easily fixed we just called a water tanker (the phone was back on) and for $180 our tanks are now 3/4 full. The next morning it started to rain and we have received 20ml of rain.
But that's not the end of it. We now have water and as we all went to have a shower...Gee wizz no hot water!!!!!
We are now out of gas. So another $88 and a phone call to the local general store and a gas bottle was delivered. So crossed fingers we have phone, electricity, water and gas....Life is now sweet.

So putting it midly this week has been a bit stressful and as I ususally do I bottle it all up. Since getting out of hospital Jen has only been able to do basic tasks (if that some days) but good ol me has taken up the slack. Miss and I have been taking in turns with cooking and dishes (Talia has been drying them most nights) but as for everything else it has been left to me. It has been like looking after 3 extra children. Ok if I wasn't living here I would be doing it all anyway but there is 3 other adults living in this house.
So when Jen, the kids and I got home from shopping yesterday and yet again I was left to put away the shopping (with help from Jen) that I shopped for with the list that I had to make. I snapped and said apart from cooking and dishes when it is my turn I am going on strike. Well that didn't go down well with Miss and it ended in a screaming match....Yes very childish I know but I have been ready to fall apart for some time now and something had to give. So I am sitting here this morning and all I have to do is cook dinner tonight and do some washing.... No feeding animals, no getting firewood, no cleaning out the fire place, no floors or cleaning bathroom, laundry, bathroom, toilet, kitchen, the list goes on.....Simple you may say but you have no idea how much clutter and mess 3 kids and 4 adults make.

So I admit I have been extremely childish and I could of handled it better but I am going to TRY and stick to my guns and have a month of , I am just a bit worried that Jen will try and do too much. I am worried about the extra stress I have now caused her.

So If you have gotten this far you need a medal but some good news is that there have been more Robbie tickets released so maybe we are in for a chance this time. The last lot sold out in 8 min....Wish us luck....Something has to go right.

Robbie goes on sale today!!!!!!

Just a quick catch up, I will do a longer one when I get a chance. The big news today is that Robbie Williams goes on sale today for his Perth concert. Melbourne sold out in 4 hours so we are hoping that we might have a small chance.....Just a slight one.

I am having to go to Bendigo to get some tires for Miss's car, she made the appointment at the same time as the ticket sales start so Jenni will have to stay home and man the phones for us....

I took Matthew back to the child health nurse and she is really pleased with his progress, however he still has social delays which she believes is due to his speech delays. So I am in the process of playing answering machine tag team with the speech therapist.

Anyway better go, will write more soon

A Wonderful Surprise

I have an amazing group of friends that I met online...These women are inspirational, caring and I feel so proud to be apart of. I have been a part of Friends Of Remember When for about 18 months now and even though they are a chatty bunch of girls (sometimes 400 emails a day) when I don't get to chat I feel as though my arms are chopped off.
We all have one thing in common and that is scrapbooking and sometimes a LO get shown :)
But most of all we are there to support each other through life's tough and happy times. We are spread out over Australia but you know if at any time you feel the need to off load there will be someone that will listen and if needed will offer some advice or just a well needed cyber hug.

One thing FoRW are fantastic for is PIFFING....For those who have seen the movie "Pay It Forward" it has the same idea. It can be as simple as popping a card in the mail for someone that is feeling under the weather or as much as a plane ticket for those who unable to afford one at the time.

One of the ladies who happens to live up the road popped over the other night to drop off some flowers and a gift from the Body Shop as a PIF for Jenni. Just to say that the ladies on the group are thinking of her.

To my surprise Debbie went back out t the car and bought in a beautiful display of flowers and a Body Shop gift for me....I had been PIFFED.

I feel so undeserving of these but knowing that I have friends that are willing to do this means sooo much....Just to say "we are thinking of you"

thankyou to all you ladies

The New Me.....

Well what a rollercoaster the last few weeks have been. The girls have settled into school really well. Talia is now, to my surprise, is doing accelerated maths. I wont fully know how they are doing until the reports come out in July.
On the down part my eldest sister has taken a turn for the worst and has admitted her self back into the psych ward. She suffers d\from Bi-Polar and it is so painful to watch someone you love go down hill. Now that she is there she is getting the help she needs, they are playing with her meds and hopefully she will be home soon.
they allowed her to go out for an hour yesterday with me, so that we could get our hair cut. Jenni is finally growing her hair longish and she has put a fantastic red colour through her hair.
I am also growing my hair as it has been short for the past 5 years. It is in that inbetween horrible stage and I wear it in a pony tail most of the time. So I said to my hairdresser Katie do something with it...And she did..
I love having it straight, for those who share the burden of curly hair with me would understand. Being able to run a hairbrush through or waking up without a rats nest....It only took about 10min to do but the downside is that as soon as it gets wet it will go back curly.
I might have to put a colour through soon to hide the ever increasing greys.

I have finally set up a savings acct or my moving acct so that I can get some money saved or I am not going anywhere. It is one of those accts that has no card and rewards you if you have withdrawals. I have done a few sums and I figured I will need about $6000.... I need to pull my finger out as I only have 6 months. We are planning on leaving at the end of Nov as Robbie Williams is playing in Perth on the 1st Dec and I sooooo want to go to that.

Matthew went and saw the child health nurse on Wed as I have been concerned with his lack of speech and other things. She has been monitoring him and wanted to see him before his 2nd birthday. Well his speech and gross motor skills are between 12 and 18 months and he has very basic comprehension. He will be getting his hearing tested within the next 3 weeks. Yesterday the nurse rang back as she had been thinking about Matthew and she wants to see him Monday week to get the ball rolling on early intivention. She has relieved my fears that there is nothing wrong with him except that he needs a little nudge in the right direction....

So that is my news all wrapped up .....

Another week gone.....

I cant believe it almost has been two weeks since the girls have come home. Things are still busy and the girls are back at East Loddon P-12 College. Talia is very happy to be back and Eloise is settling in very well. Eloise's teacher is Mr Leed who is VERY tall and looks rather amusing teaching all these tiny tots...But he relates to them very well. Talia is in a split class she has her old Prep teacher Mrs Vernon for her home room classes and Mr Smith for her literacy and numeracy block which I am happy with as Talia sometimes needs a firm push in regards to her concentration.
I finally got my stitches out on Tuesday after them being there for 2 weeks and driving me crazy, the results came back as the doctor suspected. Mild skin cancer is what he said...How you can get "mild cancer" is beyond me, however it is all gone and now I have to have 6 monthly skin checks for the rest of my life and make sure that I really cover up when I am out in the sun. Which I do anyway. So I am now officially a statistic....1 in 3 people will get skin cancer in their life.
Matthew is doing well, very happy that he has his sisters back to annoy and he is even saying a few more words...His latest is "nona" which is Connor. So all of his words are "oscar", "puppy", "bobby" he also says "thank you" and sometimes "Jen" and "Mum" and "bath. He has also learnt "wohoo" and to spin around. So things are progressing slowly. We are off to the Child Health Nurse next week as she wanted to asses him before his second birthday for his speech and if required to get the ball rolling for speech therapy.

So things are never boring around here :)

My Girls are finally home

Well as per usual things didn't go to plan. My ex MIL rang on the night before she was to fly the girls home and said that plans had changed. The road to Darwin had flooded and there was no way they would be able to get up there, so they were to drive to Kununurra the next day and fly to Broome and then on to Melbourne. They were to get in on Sat morn at 6.30am....
As it was they had to drive to Kununurra in the 4WD and the water was rising and seeping into the cars as they were driving!

So Jen and I set the alarm for 3am Sat morn, I didn't sleep much as I was scared that I would sleep through the alarm. I woke up Matthew and put him in the car seat, hoping that he would fall back to sleep (that didn't happen) and off we drove.

We got to Melb airport right on 6 am just to see that the plane was early and it had just landed, so it was a mad dash up to arrivals so that I would be there when the girls got off the plane. They ran straight to me......

I was then told all about there quick trip to Broome and how they had a sunset camel ride alone Cable Beach and that they had a great time but they really missed me and they were really glad to be home.

We had breakfast with Nana who had to make the return flight all the way back to Kununurra via Perth. Once we left the airport we then went to Highpoint for some shopping, I got my ears pierced again (up the top) the girls watched and thought I was very brave....

We ended up getting home at about 6.30pm and the girls were happy but tired, all 3 kids were asleep just after 7pm....

I a very happy mummy!!!!!

The Girls Are Home Tomorrow !!!!!

I cant wait........The girls will be flying in tomorrow morning at 6.55am, this does mean a very early start for us. Getting out of bed at 2am is not my ideal start but it does not matter.
I was a bit worried at the start of the week with ex-tropical cyclone Monica going past Darwin as they had shut down the Airport and then it was fingers crossed that there was no flooding but it all looks good.
I have posted some photos of the girls that my Sister In Law sent from her wedding...Don't they look gorgeous

Happy Belated Easter Everyone!!!!!!

We had a very quiet Easter without the girls, the Easter Bunny dropped off a Elegant Rabbit to Matthew during the night and he has been enjoying it....Takes after his mum in regards to Choccy.
The rest of the week past very uneventful until Tuesday...
Jen and I were heading down to Bendigo to do the fortnightly shop when only a few KM from home I noticed the temp gauge in the car was rising....Not normal for my car so I turned around to head back home when there was a almighty BANG under the bonnet...OH NO...I pulled straight over with my heart going ten to the dozen. I thought I had blown my engine ( the temp gauge hadn't gone over 3/4 mind you!)
So Jen stayed with the car and Matthew and I walked back to get her car from home...It was only 1km, the day continued being a pain with us unable to do most of the shopping due to road closures around Bendigo with the Easter Parade.
Good Ol Uncle Dave towed the car home that evening and had a quick look (the advantages of having a mechanic in the family) it was the top radiator hose blown as well as the belt for the water pump....So it would be a matter of fixing those to find out if any more damage had been done to the engine.
Wednesday Jen and I headed off to the doctor to get the annual flu jab (oh the joys of being a chronic asthmatic) normally a community nurse gives me mine but the doc had changed practices so he has it all at the surgery...Anyway he noticed a mark on my upper arm and asked how long it had been there....I wasn't sure, it wasn't a mole so I never took much notice. He went off to get the looky things they use and had a really good sticky beak. He then turned to me and said it has to be moved asap and do I have any more of these marks on my body. I said that I had quiet a few moles removed in my early 20's from my back, so he had another look and there was another one of these things in the middle of my back.....So I am back off on Monday to get them removed....
So last night Dave came home and replaced the hose and belt on my car and lucky it appears no other damage has been done .......Thank goodness
AND today is only THURSDAY!!!!!!!!

Ok I have serched the soul

Yes I know it has been a while but this is going to be one of those heavey D & M posts so you dont have to read it. It is more for me to get things out and to heal the soul

OK I thought that this would be easy, I know what is in my head but putting it down in words is proving difficult.
I guess if I started at the beginning…
Why have I put on 20 kg????
The main reason I can think of is the fear of intimacy…not wanting anyone close so that they can hurt me or my kids. I know that if I am fat no person will find me attractive and want to know me but deep down inside I don’t want to be alone. I am also scared that if I find a prospective partner that it will end up another failed relationship and I don’t want to put myself or kids through that again.
Plus why would anyone want someone who is divorced and has 3 kids…..
I know this all has to do with self worth and esteem
By how have I come to this point in my life, why has my self esteem plummeted to the point that I would allow this to happen.
I was a happy athletic teenager and I had my first serious boyfriend at 15, unfortunately my adolescent romantic Ideals were destroyed by him at the age of 16 when he had an intimate interlude with my mother. This absolutely destroyed me and to make matters worse I went back to him as I thought I had no one to turn to. My parents were going through a nasty divorce and both of my sisters had there own problems to solve. It didn’t help when the boyfriend turned around and said if I told anyone that he would put a knife to his wrists and it would be my fault. I stayed in this abusive relationship for another 18 months until I got up enough courage to leave him. My mother and I to this date have never spoken about this.
The next few boyfriends I made sure subconsciously that my mother would hate and unfortunately I married one of these. He was never outwardly physically abusive apart from the squeezing of the arm or leg if I said of did anything he didn’t like. He was always putting me down verbally and always classed me as a second class citizen. He also lead me to believe that if I EVER left him he would take the kids but he did me a favour by ending the marriage when Talia was 20 months old and I was 13 weeks pregnant with Eloise, I knew I never would have had the courage to leave him.

I was happy bringing the girls up on my own, I was a size 10-12 and 63kg I had a couple of part time jobs and I was socializing. But deep down I still wanted to find MR Right but I thought that no one would want to take on 2 small kids so I move to Victoria to be closer to family, before I left I had been contacted by an old acquaintance, he happened to be the ex best friend of my first boyfriend. He was interested and didn’t mind the fact that I had 2 small kids so PR came over for a visit from Perth.

I look back now and see that I was desperate for someone to like me that I totally missed that he was another not nice guy. Only after PR moved over and hurt one of the girls and leaving a huge bruise on her leg, he was told if he EVER touched the girls again I would leave but the final straw came when my mother came over for Christmas and she confessed to my sister that in fact her and PR had previously been intimate……It didn’t matter that I was 18 weeks pregnant I was no longer going to stay in a damaging relationship.

Over the next 17 months I put on a staggering 20 kgs and this was after I gave birth to a 5.36kg baby boy. I knew I was making my self fat so that NO ONE else would ever find me attractive. I don’t know why I woke up to my self and decided to come out of this spiral of emotional and physical self-destruction.
So almost 9 months on I know that I deserve better and that I am a nice person who deserves to be loved. I have a long road ahead of me and it wont be easy and even now I am not sure if I will trust my self to find a nice guy but I know once my self worth is where it should be that I will know longer attract the deadhead abusive males that I have previously attracted

73.8 kg

Well after my disgusting splurge on chocolate over the weekend I weighed my self this morning to find that I have lost the weight I had put on over Christmas/new Year. This is a huge relief as It is hard work and I wont have to start all over again, I am only 1 kg off my lowest weight to date.....
I admit I have been very slack with my eating over the last few months and I am sad to say that my goal date has come and gone....APRIL
But I am still positive that I can loose this weight.

On a different note ....I am addicted to watching the biggest Loser...This is purely my sisters fault, she started it.
Normally I usually watch it for mind numbing entertainment but last nights show made me think....
IT was delving in to the emotional reasons why the contestants allowed themselves to reach the excess weight. And that there is no point in loosing the weight if the original reason for the gain is not confronted.
this made me think of myself and why I have allowed myself to put on 20 + kilos.....
I had it all figured out and pin pointed what, when and how it all began and when I have some more time I will type it out. It will be therapeutic and hopefully I will be able to put the past behind me and move on...

A Huge Catch Up

Well the girls left on Friday .
We were to meet their dad at the departure lounge at 9am as the plane left at 10am. We made it with 5 min to spare....We left home at 6.30 and only just made it. Eloise was very nervous and really didn't want to go. Not that I blame her as she has only seen her dad 3 times in the last 5 1/2 years.
I said goodbye to the girls at the car as I knew if I stayed to long at the airport I would cry so I said that I would drop them at their dad and leave as this was his time with them. I also didn't want to be around him any longer than I had to. I was feeling pretty nervous about seeing him, it had been 4 years but I was relieved to see that he was FAT....I know that isn't nice..... But for a man who prides himself in how he looks and used to criticize me about every gram that I gained (or lost) this was a petty but small victory. I came away a much happier person.
The girls hugged me good bye and I am please to say that I didn't cry and we left.
My niece and I then drove to High Point ( A HUGE shopping centre in Melbourne) to do some serious shopping and eating....

I know I was naughty but we had pancakes for lunch, went to the chocolate bar for afternoon tea and Italian for dinner....Plus there was cheesecake at home waiting.

I managed to buy myself some new runners. At $200 I nearly choked at the price but if they get rid of the pain in my shins when I walk I will be eternally grateful.

So since Saturday the girls have rung and they are having a nice time, they were pretty pleased about having a queen bed and their own room each.

The house is VERY quiet and I miss them like crazy...My eyes burn every time I think of them.....Only 24 days till they come home......

I've Been tagged again

OK I have been tagged again by Sue V so here goes

What scrapbook lines/products etc do you dislike? Umm I cant think of anything at the moment...Everything as I have a serious scrappers block at the Moment

What is the hardest thing you ever had to scrap? Prob my wedding photos, I only did them for the girls to look at

What technique do you use more than anything else? Keeping it simple - is that a technique? Otherwise it is paper layering

What is the smallest scrap of paper you save? I save everything but I forget to use them.

Have you ever had any scrapping related injuries? No not really apart from a numb bum and sore back

Finish this sentence If I wasn't a scrapbooker/stamper, I would spend my money on?…hmmmm DVD's or I would find some other compulsion

Give your best storage or organizational idea.Umm I was given some of the vertical storage holders from Pam at Scrap StashThey are fantastic, I am going to buy some more when I settle Perth

.You just won a week long scrapbooking cruise for 5. Who is going with you? Yeah right there is no way I would get on a cruise ship so I would have to give it away

When you received your first publication notification, who did you tell? I havnt been brave enough to submit anything yet...

I now tag Jenni T

Happy 8th Birthday Talia

Happy Birthday Talia
I cant believe she is 8....
We had a lovely party dinner with party pies and sausage rolls, pizza, little boys, chips and little quiches. Talia received lots of books and a little frog in a shell that she was admiring at the Murrabit Markets from Aunty Jenni. I bought her the New Narnia Chronicles but I bought the second book by mistake so I will have to go and buy the first one for her.
I made a love heart cake and had help from Miss with the decorating and Talia loved it. I put a sparkler on the top but Talia was not impressed but at the end of the night she turned to me and said it was her best birthday ever!!!!!

Almost there

Yesterday was a nightmare, but it is over. Jenni, the kids and I went to the Rochy house early to pack a few things ready for the big shift with the trailer. We managed to get the kids bunks and draws in the trailer and take that load back to Dingee. Once home Dave went down to get the furniture trailer so in the mean time we put up the bunks. Miss and I then went over to Rochy to wait for Dave, Jen stayed home to bath, feed and put the kiddies to bed. Miss and I shuffled things about so that when the time came it wouldn't take much time....Well as family tradition goes...Everything went to shit. Jen rang, Dave had broken down on the way over so she had to pack the kids in the car and go help him. They eventuality reached Rochy at 7.30pm. Thankfully a neighbour watched the kids while we cleaned most of the house out. We ended up taking the doors off the fridge instead of the house and this saved so much time, the trailer was full and Jen and Dave headed off at about 9.45. Miss and I got the kids and then ordered pizza for dinner..
We ended up getting home at 10pm...Very tired
There is only a small amount left at the house...A trailer load, then it is just a load to the good sammys and a load to the tip.

Today everyone was tired but the trailer is empty and we are going nowhere
I have to make a cake tonight as it is Talia's 8th birthday tomorrow...
Hopefully I will find my camera in time !!!!!

I had forgotten

I had totally forgotten how horrible packing a house is....Why o why did I talk myself into doing this.....One very good reason......The feral neigbours...
I will explain the situation when everything is sorted and I am no longer living here. This is a small country town and things tend to get out...Even in blog land...So for those who are curious, please be patient and when I am settled far away from here I will spill all...

I have almost finished packing...Just my room and the laundry to go...And then the worse part of all.....CLEANING......

I was planning on getting a removalist to move me from here to Jenni's . I was expecting a couple of hundred considering its going to cost me $1700 to Perth, so I rang a few places for a quote. I nearly fell over $800....The cheapest was $500...So the good ole furniture trailer is being used again and brute strength...My poor back. Thankfully my BIL is taking a day off work to help and my sister ....I couldn't do this without them...

Well I better get back to the grind...

Plans have changed again!

What started it all off was that the kids and I stayed at Jenni's on Friday night as we had planned to leave early for the Murrabit markets on Sat morn...On the way up I was talking to Jen about my thoughts on moving in April as this would make the move a lot easier with only one child (the girls are going to Perth for a month) but this would leave me a lot short on the finances. I have had enough of my neighbours and I want out....
Then Jenni suggested that we move back in with her for the rest of the year, that way we could save heaps of money, get away from our nightmare neighbours and we could drive across the Nullabour at the end of the year together. This means we could do the Great Ocean Road and have heaps of money for the move, not having to limit the kids stuff etc....
The kids would go to East Loddon (which Talia started school at) and also Eloise could finished prep...
The only downside is that the kids and I would have to share a room and live out of suitcases for 7 months....But I would do anything to get away from the ferals next door...

The girls swimming carnival

The girls had their school swimming carnival today, so Matthew and I went and became the cheer squad. Eloise missed her first race as she didn't want to go in as it was cold but once she did she came 3rd in both of her races (with the help of some yr6's steering). Her confidence in the water is awesome, she was even swimming in the big pool.
Talia swam really well, this was her first "real" swimming carnival and it took her a while to get the hang of things...She came last in all her races but she tried her best and swam all the way instead of walking like some of the other kids did. I am so proud of my girls.
They are very tired and Talia has an intershool carnival tomorrow as well....

A spur of the moment thing.....

The girls had yesterday and today off school as the teachers had some kind of pow wow, so I decided on the spur of the moment yesterday morning to take the kids to the Melbourne Museum, I borrowed a friends Melways and off we went. I didn't go the normal way we go to the city and the 152km trip ended up taking about 3 and half hours and getting myself VERY lost. I am not confident driving in Melbourne as it is not the city I grew up in and I don't know it at ALL. But we ended up getting there and the kids were so excited. We had never been there before and it was well worth the effort. The exhibits are spectacular. Talia's favorite was the bugs alive where there is live spiders (behind glass) they even had tarantulas ......ewwwwwww......I took a photo of the girls with their faces next to the glass and the spider on the other side but they didn't turn out that well....But I will admit mine and Eloise's favorite was Phar Lap and yes I shed a tear when I saw him....Eloise was very sad (she is a horse lover) and was sad that he died and a bit to young to understand....I have wanted to see him since I was a little girl and it was worth the 3 and a half hours drive. I know it is just a stuffed horse ......But I am Australian to the core and he is such an icon....

We left for the long drive home and I didn't get as lost....Just a little......But half way home I came to the conclusion I WILL NOT be able to drive with 3 kids for 4 days from here to Perth....Just the last 2 hours in the car yesrterday was enough to give me a blinding headache.....We are definitely flying....

One problem solved.....

My 7yo daughter has been quite testing lately....Not getting to sleep until 9.30-10pm, talking back and just being a little imp (putting this nicely). I sat down tonight with her to see if we could find out why this has been happening. This behavior is not like her at all, but she is the type of kid who worries about everything and bottles things up (gee don't know where she got that from.....) I bought her a diary thinking that she might like to write things down but she hasn't been doing this either... She says she does enough writing at school
I asked her if there was anything worrying her and it all come out in a flood of tears...She is worried about the move, where are we going to live, will her new school like her and surprisingly about the drive there....She wants to fly...
I said if she wanted to stay here in Rochy we would but she wants to move to Perth, but she wants to fly as she is worried about getting car sick.
So we are flying....This puts a spanner in the works but I can work around this. It is going to cost a bit more than driving due to the cost of the flights AND car transport, but a positive is that we can take the cats on the plane with us...Another worry of hers.
Well now that we are flying this means we have to go before Matthews 2nd birthday (otherwise I have to pay for him as well)....SORRY AUNTY JENNI.....I know you wanted us to stay for both Matthews and Eloises birthday.
I have to try and find a transport company that will take a car...car transporters wont let you have anything in the car. I want to be able to pack the car to the rafters with all the crap that wont go in boxes.....Photo albums, computer, bedding...ect...
I need to try and remember the company that bought my car and stuff down from Kununurra....
So that's were we are at now....
And believe it or not Talia is now sound asleep.....

Look what I got today ......

There were 6 but 3 got eaten on the way home. I got a phone call from the school today asking me to come and pick up Talia as she had a headache and wanted to come home. So I ended up waking Matthew and drove down to Elmore. Of course Eloise wanted to come home to, but much to my surprise she left her class room with 6 biscuits she made me for valentines Day.

A dose of Panadol Talia was fine and she is going to go to school tomorrow. Eloise has the day off but I am not sure If I am going to take her to swimming lessons. I should....

Hope everyone else had a nice day....

The weekend....

On Saturday Night we went with Jenni, Dave and Miss to the Dingee Family festival. For $10 each and $5 for the kids we had a selection of Lamb, Beef, Pork, cold chicken and heaps of salads and it was all you could eat...The kids had heaps of fun as there was a highland pipe band and a jumping castle.
It ended up being a very late night for the kids...But they were having heaps of fun with some glow sticks and playing with some local lids.

Today was nice and quiet, I managed to vacuum, change all the sheets and did all the washing. The girls have just come home and I noticed that Eloise was scratching her head so I did the check and found some little critters in her hair.....GREAT!!!!!!!! NOT....

Talia's hair is clear which is a relief as de-lousing her hair is a nightmare...

So Eloise is being decontaminated as I type and hopefully this will be the only case for the year...We managed to be clear all of last year...

I'm not sure whether she got them from the kids on Sat night or from school today....I guess it doesn't really matter.

I've been tagged again

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Ok...Think...How old was I ...I think I was living in Swan View W.A, working as a dental nurse for the W.A government in Vic Park....Not a very memorable year...Nothing much happened...I may have gotten engaged to my Ex-husband....?????

What were you doing 1 year ago?

I was living here in Rochester VIC, Talia was in year 2 and Eloise was going to Kinder 4 times a week. Matthew was 7 months old

5 snacks that you enjoy:

these are all really healthy :)
1. Dark chocolate bullets
2. kabana and water crackers
3. gingernut biscuits
4. Vegemite sandwich
5. Violet crumble

5 songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. National anthem
2. Unwell - matchbox 20
3. One - U2
4. Electric Blue - Icehouse
5. Groovy kind of love - Phil Collins

5 things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Buy a nice 4 bedroom home...So the kids can have a room each.
2. Make sure my sisters are comfortable...
3. Set up a trust fund for the kids education and future
4. A new car so that we could drive the nullabor in style
5. A huge scrapping splurge

5 bad habits:

1. Not standing up for myself, I am such a pussy and it makes me so angry at myself
2. Not being settled anywhere....I am sure I am a gypsy
3. Not tiding up, I wish I could keep my house tidier
4. Holding everything in and then exploding over a tiny little thing
5. Cry too easily....Everything and anything sets me off


5 things you like doing:

1. Spending time with my kids
2. Having a nice relaxing bath with a good book
3. Scrapbooking
4. Coffee and chat with my sister's
5. Reading

5 things you would never wear, buy or get again:

1. A blue lounge.....Shows up every mark
2. A wedding dress....That aint EVER going to happen again
3. Dark carpet...Again shows every mark
4. Nestle chocolate (that stuff is vile!!!!)
5. Bikini

5 favourite toys:

1. My kids, I could play with them for hours
2. My puter...Cant live without that
3. My scrapping stash...My sanity saver
4. My car...It gives me freedom
5. Game cube

5 people I am tagging:

I think everyone has already been tagged

I made it through the day

As you can see my boy is finally walking!. He has just gone 19 months. I am trying to take some more photos while he is still at that cute wobbly stage...

Well today went well, I took Matthew to daycare after the girls went to school. I had plans of talking to the co-ordinator to eliminate some of my fears but when we got there she was not there, so I stayed for a little while to watch him settle. There were only 2 other children, including D (child that was undisciplined) and watched the staff. I was ready to jump on anything remotely suspect. As toddlers do D played rough and to my relief he was told to play nice and was told to say sorry to the little boy (not mine) that he hurt....I was relieved... I will still talk to the co-ordinator when I see her.
I still had a few tears when I was about to leave. I said goodbye and gave him a kiss, he looked at me and then went back to playing....
I went back to a very quiet and empty house, I cleaned, I cooked dinner, I had coffee with a friend and I scrapped...
At 3.00 I drove down to pick up the girls as I wanted to know how they are settling in...They are doing fine and parent/teacher interviews will be held soon so I will find out a bit more then. I have also put my name down to help with reading in the P/1/2 room (Eloise's class) Friday mornings....
We then went and picked up Matthew who was happily playing in a ride on car when we got there. The carers couldn't speak highly enough of him...he charmed them all.... He even had an hour sleep...

So today was good....Emotional rollercoaster but good

I have been tagged

I have been tagged by Rach

1. First time you got kissed? Um it was a dare from a friend. I was 13 and it was Michelle"s boyfriend, Nathan was his name. He was 12 and short....I remember thinking OMG this is HER boyfriend and she wants me to kiss him...It was long and sloppy...Not an ideal first kiss

2. First time you drove a car: .... In my mums old white corona, I was 17 and we drove around a car park in Perth

3. First time you scrapbooked: May 2001, it was a CM party and I was invited to a get together and at the last min I was told to bring 3 photos as we were doing something crafty....And now 5 years later I hooked

First time you went on a date: ummm date....I cant remember an actual date but my first boyfriend was Sam and I was 14

5. First time you fell in love: Sad to say it was Karl.....Oh what did I see in him...He broke my heart at 16

6. First time you cooked for someone: For the above when I was 16....I hate cooking

7. First time you got on a plane: When I was very young...Would have to ask aunty Jenni for that?????

8.First time you shaved your legs: wasn't until I left home, I had VERY hairy legs (they used to call me tarantula at school when I was 7) Mum said I had to wait until I was 12 and I could wax them...I am not going to do the same with my girls...What is the big deal...Its only hair, it WILL grow back

9. First time you put on make up: Ummm I remember this vividly...I cant remember how old I was. It was when we all lived together in Craigie, so I must have been 7 or 8. I was in my sister Jenni's room and was using her make up....I got into HUGE trouble

10. First time you moved out of your home: I was 18 and I moved to a unit in South Perth, I shared with a girl I worked with. My rent was $65 a week

I tag Jenni
and Jacquie

will catch up with the rest of the news tomorrow

A Week gone already

Gee time flies when you are having fun.....Right????

Well in the last week the battery problem didn't sort it self out. The people I bought the battery off came and replaced the battery on Wed and the car worked perfectly....But I didn't drive it as I didn't need to, however Matthew and I had an appointment at the day care at 2.30pm thurs arvo...I had plans on putting him in half day a week. Anyway on Thurs, I put Matthew in the car at 2.15 ready to drive off. NOTHING!!!!!!! Dead again...So out I get, pusher out, Matthew in and we power walked into town....We made it by 2.30....
The interview went well...He was to go back Monday for orientation- so that when I leave him on Friday (all day!) he will at least know some faces. So we walked home....It was hot too.
Went inside to call the battery people AGAIN to find that my phone is DEAD!!!!
I stormed across the road to a friends house to use her phone...Didn't think about the mobile as I was too angry...
Rang the battery people, they would come asap and then rang Telstra...They found a fault on the line and would be fixed by end of business on Monday...
By this stage I was wild as the plumber still had not turned up to fix the non flushable toilet....My day was just perfect....
8am Friday morning....The plumber turned up and we now have a working toilet...YAY and the battery man turned up and put in the 3rd battery...He thought that something was draining the battery and to take it to the mechanic to get him to look at it...I had checked to see that the interior lights were off and made sure that all the doors were closed. So off to Bendigo we go, as I was driving down to the mechanics I looked up to my review mirror and the two lights attached to that were on!!!!!!!! I felt like such a fool. I cant believe all this time that the 2 little lights were draining the battery....But I was glad that it was nothing more serious....
the weekend passed very quietly and Monday came around, it was time for Matthews orientation...We went in. The co-ordinator was not there and the second in charge was not there either, none of the staff who would be caring for my boy on Friday was there....What was the point???
So Matthew went off and played, he was having a great time and I stayed and watched how the kids were interacting and how the staff were with them....Some thing came very clear. A distinct lack of discipline with one of the children. This child hits, throws things, punches other children. It happened 5 times while I was there (half hour tops) and not one of the 3 carers who wittiness these occurrences did nothing.....I was appalled. I am not sure if the staff are scared as the child in question was the co-ordinators child or that there are no strategies in place. I did ask about discipline to one of the carers and she got really defensive, wanting to know why I wanted to know....So now I am in 2 minds about sending him....
Well that's my week....Hope you all had good ones

A New School Year

Well we survived the first day of school.....JUST

The day started perfect. I had set the alarm to go off at 7am so we would have all the time to get ready ect...
Both school bags were packed, uniforms on and Matthew ready.
Took the kids out side and proceeded to take lots of first day of school photos....Eloise started prep and Talia year 3, but at a new school and I had 2 very excited girls ready to get into the car and go....

So in we get, seatbelts on, smiles on faces and I turned the key......

Nothing, not a noise ....OMG what was I to do????

Why couldn't this happen any time in the last 5 weeks....Why the first day of school????

So I got the kids out of the car and called my sister....She lives 50kms away but luckily for us she was more than happy to rescue us.
So the girls finally got to school at 9.45am....better late than never!

Once the kids were at school we tried to jump the car....No luck....I was pretty miffed as the battery is only about 2 months old. So I took it back and as It was dead they replaced it for me.....

We put it in the car, crossed the fingers but only a tic tic tic...You know that sound when the battery is flat....

So it seems that the starter motor may have died....What to do now???

The girls are getting a lift to school with a friend which is fantastic, so I don't need to worry about them....

I hope everyone else had the first day of school run smoother than I.

Some Relief from the Heat

It is a beautiful 31 degrees today....I am in heaven. The last few days have been disgusting. The bags under the kids eyes have gone due to a good night sleep. The end of the week is not looking good however. The forecast for Thursday is 42!!!
We went off and got the girls hair trimmed today all ready for school, 6 days and counting. Eloise is very excited and Talia is just sick of the school holidays.
Things are going to be very quiet here on Tuesday....hmmm what to do????

Planning for the big move is going OK...I have a removal quote that I am quite happy with and I am still planning on driving over with all 3 kids. I will be doing this alone as my niece is not leaving until August now.

Am I mad????

3 kids and the Nullabour....

It will be once in a life time experience but the thought of 3 bored kids stuck in the car for 4 days .....Any suggestions????

I haven't lost any weight this week....Not too concerned though

The lost Mojo

I stayed at my sister Jenni last night so that we could do a bit of scrapping, and to see if I could get my mojo back...And I did
I ended up doing about 10 LO's done. I wont post them all but the above one is my favorite.
I ate too much, Miss made a unreal lasagna for dinner and we finished off with some chocolate cake and m&m's for dessert.
Weigh in tomorrow morning...Will the choc cake tip me over????

I did it!!!!!!

I am so excited!!!
I popped on the scales this morning and I had to double take when I looked at what it said

72.8 kg

I have now officially lost 10.2 kg

I have my mojo back. Now to find my scrapping mojo.

Oh and I also got a quote back from the removalist $1700
so I am pretty happy about that too.

I have been tagged

OK Sue has tagged me so here it is......

A is for age: 32
B is for booze of choice: Vodka, lemon, Lime and soda
C is for career: SAHM
D is for your dad's name: Gerald
E is for essential items to bring to a party: Good Music
F is for favoritee song at the moment: HMMMMM too many to choose????
G is for favoritee game: dunno
H is for hometown: Perth
I is for instruments you play: I'm not that talented
J is for jam or jelly you like:orange marmalade
K is for kids: Talia (7), Eloise (5) and Matthew (18 months)
L is for living arrangements: With the above 2 and cats Molly and Oscar, oh and the goldfish Sarah, Patch and Pirate
M is for mum's name: Mary
N is for name of your crush: Ohhh toss up between Brad and Keanu
O is for overnight hospital stays: have my 3 kids and intensive care with collapsed lung
P is for phobias: Spiders EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q is for quotes you like: cant think atm
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: I am hopeless with relationships
S is for sexual preference: Men
U is for underwear: getting smaller all the time
V is for vegetable you love: broccoli
W is for weekend plans: scrapping at Jenni's
Y is for yummy food you make: potato salad
Z is for zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Wednesday

I took these photos of Matthew and Talia yesterday. The kids were hot (we had 41 degrees) so I filled up the little toddler pool and the kids had a splash. Thankfully today was sooo much cooler and I was able to get some house work done.
Miss and Jenni came and stole Eloise away for a few days, so the house was so quiet this afternoon. I will go and pick her up on Sat and she will swap with Talia. I plan to totally clean out their room while each of them is away. It is amazing how quickly kids accumulate junk!

Matthew took a few more steps today, I think we are up to 5. He still does most of his movement in crawling. It seems funny watching him, I forget that he is 18 months old.....Where has the time gone???

I went and hired out Mr & Mrs Smith on DVD today and watched it tonight, it was really good and I must say that Mr Pitt was looking mighty fine indeed.

I have been really good with my eating today, Talia and I had steak and salad for dinner.

Thursday

Tomorrow my boy is 18 months old. Where has the time gone. He had his 18 month old check up at the Maternal Health nurse today and everything is going well. He is now 83 cm long and weighs 11.36 kg. The nurse is a little concerned with his lack of speech and wants to see him a 2, just before we move to Perth and if he still is not saying many words we will be seeing a speech pathologist.
After this we went to get Matthew his 18 month immunizations which turned out to be only Chicken pox so the girls ended up having theirs too. Talia volunteered but Eloise screamed the hall down, I had to restrain her. But it is over and done with now.

aunt Jenni came for a visit also today, she seemed very down and I felt so guilty leaving her. I wish she could come with us. I know she wants to but Dave wont....She will be coming over to spend Christmas with us...Which is at my house (fist time ever!!!!) It seem funny thinking about Christmas already.
I have been doing Ok with my eating and weighed my self mid week (I know naughty) but I weigh 73.8kg....so that extra 1.5kg must have been fluid...I am really hoping for a loss this week to get me back on track...Monday will tell


Matthew

To Start Fresh

I forgot to add this to yesterdays post but I forgot.
I am like many others starting fresh this New Years Day. I weighed myself this morning 75.4kg....so that's it, it is down on paper so to speak, now to loose it. I have started to track again and will be starting to move a bit more. I wont say exercise because I hate that word...

So today my sister took me out to see the latest Happy Potter film, my niece stay home and watched the kids for me. Wow it was a long film but really good. Someone should really give those boys a decent haircut!!!!!
I thought it was really good but it amazed me how many people out there bought young children into the cinema to watch it. I personally thought that it was not suitable for younger viewers but that is me. I will let my girls watch the first 2 but not number 3....Maybe due to my own personal diversion to werewolves (a very bad scare when I was 8 and 26 years later still not over it)
So that was my day....
Thankyou my dearest sister!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone.

I don't like new years eve due to the reason that every new years eve ends up yukky, either a fight, sick or plans just go out the window but I LOVE New Years Day!

I love the feeling of a fresh start its just like the first day of school. I am not making any New Years Resolutions but this year is going to be good.

I am going to get to goal weight this year..For sure! Not only that but the girls start at their new school. Talia starts year 3 and Eloise is starting Prep....And.....

Its official we are moving to Perth. I spoke to Matthews father on the phone yesterday and I explained my reasons for moving and he understands, he is a little upset and I asked him if he would ever consider moving back to Perth but he said it would cost too much money.

So I have started to sell stuff on eBay, the things that have been sitting in my "sell" box for about 6 months. I think it will take me about 6 months to get through it all :)

Well that's all my ramblings for now, I hope you all have a wonderful day

A decision made....

After some careful consideration.....What the hell! Who am I kidding I am as compulsive as they come!!!!! Once I make my mind up I don't want to wait but thins time I am going to do things a bit different.
I sat down and wrote out all my reasons for staying where I am, then I wrote a list of why I should leave. I tried not to let my emotions get in the way. I am thinking about the kids and what is best for them long term....
I also sat down with the girls and tested the winds and asked in a round about way what they thought before I told them what I was thinking

And the results were...........WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!!!!
Well that is if Matthews father will let me.....He has seen him once in the last 5 months but he is a bit of a "poor little me....." Kind of person and he might kick up a stink.....I will deal with that later...

So now I know that I am going I feel relieved, I am going to miss My big sister like crazy who has by the way her own blog!!!!!!!! UpsAndDowns Check it out and give her lots of support. I am going to help her tweak it a bit but she is such an amazing woman.

So once I made the decision, I sat down and figured out some finances and what to take ect...I have a quote from one removalist ....$2800 for 20 cubic meters....I will see if I can find anything cheaper. I don't want to do what I did when I moved from WA to VIC.....I sold everything and came with only a dryer and 2 pallets of boxes.

I will need about $6000.....This includes removalist, trip over (I think I am mad, I plan on driving over with the 3 kids) bond and rent for the new house and $1000 for the bits and pieces that pop up...

I have also discovered that I will need to sell my fridge. It is a very large fridge and I had to take off the doors and door frames to get it in my house....It wont fit through the door frames over there as they are metal so the fridge will have to go....

So that is the plan.......The big move will prob take place July/Aug this year....
This also means that I will have to be at goal by then so I can throw away all my big clothes....

So anyway.......

I didn't want to use my blog as a unhappy outlet, I wanted to put up my achievements and happy things but I have found that as a rule when my life is smooth and everything is hunky dory I don't have time to get on and blog. It is however that when I am feeling down and low that I feel the need to express myself and write things down...

I have taken a break from weight watchers for a month now and I really feel it, I lost my mojo. I popped on the scales this morning and I have put on a few kilos. I now weigh 75.6kg....not good. But as of 1st Jan I am back on....

So anyway, I am having problems getting to sleep. This is not like me. I know I am getting itchy feet and deep down I feel the need to move. I really do admire the people who can stay in one place longer than a year. I have moved 29 times in 32 years.
My mind is racing at night and I really want to get out of this house. Rentals in this town are non existent and there is a waiting list. I am considering moving to the town the girls new school is in as I have worked out that I will be driving to and from for the next 12 years!!!!

But this is not the only consideration. Victoria is not my home state. I am from W.A and that is where most of my family and friends from school are. I miss it but.....
The girls are happy here, They like the school next year, they have friends here and Talia has her Karate here. If I moved it would be for total selfish reasons. I miss the familirarity of Perth, but I swore I would never move the kids interstate again plus we would be looking at thousands of $$ in removal costs (which I don't have) and would I be any happier than I am here?????



THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER!!!!

I am so lost at the moment. Do you ever feel like that???
I don't know where I am going and I am one of those people who like to plan, it makes me feel secure (well that doesn't make sense with the moving bit???)
I really need to sit down and put a few goals down and get some structure, maybe that would help....

Thanks for listen to me dribble....I feel better

Go figure !!!!!

First of all I would like to say a big thank you to all of you who have made me feel better with your comments.
I am feeling heaps better today and I popped on the scales this morning and it showed 73.2 kg....So I haven't put on any weight at all...Must of been just fluid...
So things have been brighter since my last post.

the girls have their orientation day tomorrow at their new school so it is an early night for all

Time is a ticking

It is so easy to get back into bad habits. My weight has creeped up to 75kg my clothes still fit but it is amazing how much an extra 1.2 kg can make you feel. Now wonder I was feeling so rotten when I was carrying the extra 8.
Christmas is coming fast and this year I am sooooo not ready for it. I have no idea what to buy the kids. I try and limit what I spend on each child to about $50 all up, that includes what they give each other as I want them to enjoy the giving much more than the getting IYKWIM. But I am not sure if the finances will even stretch that far this year.
I hate being a single mum sometimes. Why should the kids miss out while Ex-husband drives around in a Club Sport.....I am anti men at the moment.
A girlfriend of mine is going through a nasty divorce, her delightful husband decided after her miscarriage that he didn't want to do this anymore....It has bought all the bad memories of my divorce back and it has been 5 years....
I wonder will it ever end....Do you ever forget about it

I am going to try and get on here a bit more. I miss writing down my thoughts and my achievement which have been few and far between lately.

Who the hell was I kidding?????

I have put on some weight.....I still fit into my clothes. In fact I have pulled out all my size 12's from hiding and most of them fit, a few are a bit tight around the tummy but hey....Its the first time in 3 years.
Back to the weight gain.
After the getaway I was lulled into a false sense of security and I have found it really difficult to get back in to the swing of things. I popped on the scales Monday morning and 74.2kg was staring back at me ...Almost 1 kg gain. I have tried a number of times to start tracking but I am weak and end up eating something bad thinking to my self that I will start again tomorrow- seriously this time.....YEAH RIGHT!!!!!
I need help...
any suggestions on how to get motivated again would be greatly appreciated

Well that's enough whining from me...Thinking of you all

Ok, things weren't as bad as they seemed

So I got on the scales this morning and to my utter surprise I weighed 73.8kg....which I am over the moon at. So as of today I am back tracking.
I remember a while back one of you lovely ladies commented in your blogs about plateaus and how that once you get to a certain weight you stop, it is not your goal weight but because you feel so much better and your clothes feel good. That you sub consciously stop thinking weight loss mode. Well I have been there for the last few weeks. I am down to a size 14 and could easily stop but I would love to get to goal so I need to reassess a few things and get my not so big butt into gear.

I wont be blogging as much either, my eldest daughter has commented about the time I spend on the puter and has asked to kindly cut back and spend some more time with her (point taken) so just to let you know that I do read your blogs but may not have the time to comment but my thoughts are with you.

Hello everyone

Wow I cant believe that it has been almost 3 weeks since I last posted. I have been feeling quiet blah for a while but I have just spent a lovely 4 days in the Dandenong ranges at a scrapbooking getaway. The group of women who I go away with are an amazing bunch. I always come away with my soul refreshed and this time 2 kg heavier.
Before the getaway I was eating crap and while I was there I ate and ate and ate...chocolate, coke and basically anything I could get my teeth into....

But lots of people noticed my weight loss and it was a great feeling..
so I have to get my head back into weight loss mode, I'm not quiet ready for it yet but I am going to do it.

So this is just a quick catch up t say that I am here and I hope everyone else is well